Army National Guard

Lately, I've been wondering what I'm gonna do about this little financial sitiation I find myself in. I mean, what - out-of-state tuition is six grand for full time? Hell to the naw! So instead of puttin up with this in the spring, why not make my time productive? Also, I need money to get through college. Money that I don't have to pay back would be nice. And if someone asked me to throw on a uniform for it, I'm thinking - at what cost do I value my education? Now, I know what you're thinking. Or at least what you'd be thinkin if you were my parents. Am I sure I wanna do this? Remember Javan, you have to serve time in order to get money for college. Well, no disrespect to my parents, but duhr! I know well what I'm getting into. Gettin into some dough that's gonna get a brotha paid. Well, at least my school. And then - the theatre scholarship comes into play. See, I'm finally startin to think ahead. Think into the future. And plus, I guess this program benefits my desire to help and serve the community as a humanitarian. Except, I guess I'ma be gettin paid for it still.... Well, if you aint know before, I'm talkin bout the




I pretty much have it planned out - if I decide to do it. And even tho a few days ago I was all gung ho about it, I am having second thoughts. I mean, That's eight years I gotta do this shit. Ya know? But the good thing about that is that they'll still let me do theatre, and since I also wanna be a personal trainer, they have programs that'll really help me with that as well. It'd probably be better than the personal training UVU itself has to offer. So... it sounds good thus far to me. Here are some more benefits of the National Guard:



You already know the homie focused on the first three! And it'll prolly take me six years in school anyway, so the last two inactive years I can go wherever the hell I want to. :) I've been talkin to a lot of people about it, both in and out of the program. Hopefully those inside the program aint been feeding me bullshit. Cause I'll raise hell. But I guess, based on what u see here and/or what u know or think, lemme know what ur opinion is on me joining this program. Cause I'm bout to start basic training in January if I decide to do it.

Home

"Another aeroplane, another sunny place, I'm lucky I know - but I wanna go home. I got to go home."

Ahh. My beloved home. Aka the 7 Cities, aka Pistol City (for Norfolk residents), aka Tha 757. Holla atcha boi. This is where I grew up. Lost my virginity here. Learned how to ride a bike here. Got my first "E" on a report card here. Best believe I took that shit back to the teacher and told dat bitch throw some D's on my shit! lol But forrils, this is where I got my first job. Got my first girlfriend. Got my first apartment. Got my first bully. I may have been born in Chi-Town, but this is where I was raised. This is where my family and friends are. At least my direct family. At least my ride-or-die friends. All my true homies are in these parts. This is where I graduated. This is where I learned life the hard way. This is where most of my persecution most of my miracles, most of my life took place. Here I experienced love. Hate. Envy. Popularity. Greed. Forgivness. Anger. Charity. Faith. Wisdom. Stupidity. Intelligence. Fear. Courage. Humility. Pride. Spirituality. Survival. Hope. Heartbreak. Joy. Melancholy. Wholeness. Sacrifice. Winning. Losing. Discipline. Respect. Trust. Friendship. Betrayal.

These are my family and friends. Boy, did I have some great times with these guys. You just don't know. And not even all of them are here, of course. We used to do some stupid shit back in the day. See, here, this is where the hood lies. Now for those of you who don't know what a hood is, let me educate you. A "hood" is different from a "ghetto". A ghetto is a place with no matter how much knowledge, there is no opportunity. A hood is a place where no matter how opportunity there is, there is pure ignorance. Lucky for me, I was raised in the hood, but I'm not really "of" the hood. I've seen some stuff growing up, but I always choose to see the good in things. You know, be optimistic. That's what my home has taught me. These guys you see here above - they helped me get through some rough times. No joke. We been through some shit, I'll tell ya that much. We lived the struggled of our generation in that place. Some of us financially, some of us spiritually, some of us intellectually. However, it's brought us all closer together. It's made us family. This is our home. And boy, do I miss it. <3



"Let me go home. I've had my run, and baby I'm done. I wanna go home. Let me come home. It'll all be alright, I'll be home tonight. I'm comin back home." - Michael Buble

In Special Memory Of

I'm a nice guy. You know this. Anyone who knows me knows this. They can testify. I'm a very forgiving person. But even I have to think of myself sometimes. And my friends if they're involved. I have a few rules you need to obey:

1. NEVER EVER talk shit about my family. Bitch I will kill you where you stand.
2. Never ever talk shit about my friends. Especially behind their backs. Please be a full grown adult and confront them to their face. Even then, you may want to watch what you say.
3. This probably should've been number one, but don't EVER try to bring me down because I'm LDS. God has given me the right to defend my choice of religion, and I will use it to the max. Don't criticize me because I have standards better than yours.
4. Don't be an ass hole. Being an ass hole gets you nowhere in life. In fact, it can get that ass whooped. In fact, It can get you killed. Actually, as a matter of fact, it can get your family killed. What right do you have to be a fucking jerk to people for no reason? You ain't one of the New Boyz! Nobody likes an ass hole. They smell like ass hole. They look like ass hole. When you listen to the bull shit that comes from their mouth, you breath in intoxicated ass hole fumes and vapors that seep into and poison your veins. Then you could become an ass hole too.
5. Respect is given, not earned. Trust is to be judged personally. Generally, you do not judge others. However, If you DO judge, judge wisely. People need to straight open up their fucking minds.
6. The racist shit is kinda iffy here. What exactly is racism? If you just met me, don't tell me I can dunk a basketball because I'm black. What the fuck? You really can't come up with any other form of communication to engage in with me other than make phony comments on what's only HALF of my color? You don't know even know me that well. Bitch I will Rick James your ass.
7. Actions speak louder than words. If you love me, show me. Don't say "You're my brother, I got your back, I love you." and then turn around and treat me like shit and THEN justify that shit shit by saying "I treat you like shit because I love you" WHAT THE FUCK???
8. Lastly, I don't really care what people say about me, because God and I know what the business is. But please, voice your opinions to my face. Have the testicles - or the lips - to do that. I don't say anything behind someone's back I won't say to their face. Even then, I remain objective about things. Honesty is my best policy.


So, follow these rules, and we'll get along perfectly. I don't care if you don't clean up after yourself, if you hate rap and misunderstand the hip hop community, or even if you're a tool or a phony superficial bitch. We can work through that. However, I really hope (if you had parents) that you were raised right by somebody. Anybody. And special shout out to Patrick Ian Warren Crawford. The biggest ass hole I've ever known. The only person to betray me thrice and still I forgave him. The only fake ass Irish mother fucker I will cut off from my presence. Congratulations, you racist bitch, you've earned a special Jiggyfly blog dedication. And to anyone who's reading this, know that I've already said this to his face, and I'll say it again.

As for the ass hole - listen up here buddy. Fuck you. Let's get that out the way first. Ok. I feel sorry for you. And sorry for myself because I let you do and get away with SO much bull shit. I've let you treat me like shit. I let you talk shit about my friends and family. I let you do shit to my friends and family. I let you discriminate against me because I'm half black and half samoan. I let you put my personal business on blast. I let you talk shit about me in public. I let you think the way you think. I let you take care of me. I let you act the way you act. I let you hang that confederate flag up in that fucking room you share with me. I let you tell me I was weak for being strong and faithful in my religion. I let you control me with the hood in me. I let you believe what you believe. And you are the single greatest mistake I have ever made in my life. I pity you. I hope you do change. You need psychiatric help. You need Dr. Phil. You need Jesus. You need these nuts in your mouth. As a matter of fact, I rather you let go of my nuts first. Whether or not I tell you or someone else tells you about this blog, you WILL read it one day. This will surely come to pass. You are a bitch to try and assault your own "brother". People have done you wrong your whole life, but think twice before you become what they've become. I shed no tears for you. Never will. You mean nothing to me. I am free. I am totally free. I am happy. And I want you to know this. I am genuinely happy. Goodbye, Patrick Ian Warren Crawford. It was good while it - naw fuck that. So it was in the beginning, and so it was in the end.

FUCK YOU.

Lately

Lately, I've been really busy with school and work. It's kinda cool though, despite all the work that comes with it. Let me give you a peek of my schedule:

MWF
6:00 am mixed martial arts training
9:00 am voice and diction class
11:00 am stagecraft class
12:30 pm exercise and workout
2:00 pm homework/nap
5:00 pm work
9:00 pm homework/fun time
11:30 pm go to bed
*on Fridays, I usually go to the club or out to eat after work

TR
7:00 am math 1010
10:00 am english 1010
1:00 pm acting 2
2:30 pm exercise and work out
5:00 pm work
9:00 pm homework/fun time
10:30 pm go to sleep

Saturday
9:00 am - 10:00 am sleep in
11:00 am exercise/work out
12:30 pm stuff face/relax
rest of day is homework/fun time

Sunday
11:00 am - 12:00 pm sleep in
1:00 pm church
4:00 pm - 8:45 pm homework/fun time
9:00 pm ward prayer
9:30 pm homework/fun time
10:30 pm go to sleep


Then, after all is said and done, it begins again on Monday. Interesting, huh? Well, the schedule hasn't allowed me any dates really - I guess that can be a good thing. lol :) No distractions, right? However, I came here to act. And I hate to say it, but this schedule isn't letting me act. My work is always Monday through Friday, 5-9. Rehearsals, auditions, and assessments run during those hours. It's kind of depressing, because I have to work in order to pay the rent. Yet, I enjoy it all. Lucky me, I've made great friends here that give me a piece of home. These Utah people are crazy! lol But everyone here is pretty much goal-oriented, if not going somewhere. I see why I need to be here. I guess It helps that I'm LDS, but still I'm reminded everyday that I'm not like everyone else. No matter how much everyone else tries to break me or be like me. ;)

That's all that's been going on, lately.